Mental illness

Dear blog,
i am heading to mental illness.
I am so depressed. When I'm
depressed I will do stupid babi
things. Yesterday I went to
this place to buy wedding things
and waited for hours for them
to settle down..At last I just
lock the car and walk around
alone and just ignore all the miscalled
or sms. Later that day, at night I walked
alone again.

Today same shit happened again. I waited
one and half babi hours for someone to pick me up..
So I waited and at last I was forced to
take lrt, and again I did stupid things,
I walked in rain and right now I just
wish tomorrow I will have bad fever.

I live in really pathetic situation. For over
24 years can't somebody understand me?
What I babi hate, what makes me rasa
nak tembak kaki orang.

There is one voice that keep telling me
to do some thing. "Just walk away
and lock the car, let them feel what
you feel"..

So if you guys read newspaper and see
the headline such as " Young man
gone mad and killed ......."..that's
maybe me..ok..Right now I can relate
why some people gone mad
and beheaded their parents
or relatives..or slapping their mum
just because their mother can;t
finish preparing for wedding on time..

Psychiatry or sakit otak here I come